Child Rearing

I have abandoned my old thoughts on child rearing. Attachment parenting. I never really had any basis for parenting in that manner anyway. I did not read any books on it. It just felt right at the time. But as Annabelle has entered the little girl stage, I've realized it just isn't working for us! I've spent more days in the past year questioning what I've done wrong to raise such a disrespectful and self-centered child. And I think perhaps I may just have found the answer.

Attachment parenting equates to a child-centered family. Everything revolves around the children. And as a result, the children think they rule the roost. Why should they respect you and listen to you? In their little eyes, you should respect and listen to them before respect is ever earned. I know that there are many, many theories on child rearing, so if attachment parenting is your thing and it is working for you, go for it! I am not judging! But after much thought and reading, I am changing my parenting style.

If you aren't familiar with John Rosemond, I would highly recommend reading "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" and "New Parent Power!" Next on my reading list is "The Well-Behaved Child." Warning: He is very old school! Even more old school than my own parents, and they are pretty old! After e-mailing my mom to let her know I would be implementing his ticket system immediately, she responded with the following: "You are soooo mean!" I'm beginning to think she was just lucky that my brother and I turned out alright.

I changed my thoughts on parenting after Annabelle embarrassed me twice in one week amongst friends during scheduled playdates and dinners. She was doped up on anti-itch medicine the first incident, but that is still no excuse for her disrespectful behavior. Well honestly, I've been trying to figure out how to correct her appropriately for awhile now as even 15 minute time outs just do not work!

After the last straw, I joined John Rosemond's membership website to gain access to parenting questions answered by John Rosemond or one of his Certified Leadership Parenting Coaches. I've already read "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" and I was already in the midst of reading "New Parent Power!" I've gained so much by reading the parenting questions and responses already, and I truly believe his thoughts on child-rearing and discipline.

This will be a shocker to many of you, but I am strongly considering homeschooling our girls. I never even dreamed that mere thought would cross my mind 5 years ago, but something keeps telling me that this is something I need to consider. I have begun actively researching our options. We've discussed private school as well, but that would probably nip in the bud the thought of any more children, and I would need to enter the workforce again on a pretty full-time basis as soon as Sophia would be school age to even afford this option. But I'm not even sure that private school will calm the reservations that I am having about sending them to public schools. The next year will be filled with a lot of research, but mostly prayer!

So on the thought of child-rearing and homeschooling, I will leave you with a quote from John Rosemond's May 3, 2011 newspaper column titled "My 'Needs.'"

"I propose that yesterday's parents had it right. The only proper end goal of child rearing in America is to strengthen America. It is not all about the child. It is about one's responsibility to this country. It's not about raising a child who makes straight A's, earns a scholarship to a top-tier college, is the best center-forward in the NCAA, etcetera. It's about raising an adult who will be a good neighbor, someone who will be helpful and courteous and respectful and compassionate and charitable and responsible and so on. Most of all, it's about raising a child who will pass the baton of good citizenship properly to his or her kids.

When that's the goal, everything else will fall into its proper place.

The child may not make the best grades, but he will respect adults and do his best. As an adult, he may not wear an Italian silk tie to work or make a lot of money, but he will be a good neighbor.

In short, it's not about the child's supposed needs; it's about what America needs."

Lazy

Sophia is definitely my lazy child. She let that be known before birth when she decided to make her grand appearance 6 days late! Annabelle was 5 days early.

Sophia has started something new when she cries out for me at night and after she has woken up from her naps. She stands up in the crib crying (that is nothing new by any means). But, as I near her crib, she continues to cry and then points to her paci. Lazy little thing wants me to pick it up for her! I mean my goodness, the poor baby would have to bend down a whole whopping one foot to retreive the thing! Poor baby!

Being the stubborn mommy that I am though, I don't typically give in to this particular behavior. Isn't responding to her beck and call enough? Instead, I tell her that she can get her paci if she wants it. She plops her self down in the crib bottom first to retreive it, and then she stumbles back up to the crib rail for me to pick her up.

She definitely is her Daddy's child! Hee, hee! I may get in trouble for that comment!

So that's how they do it!

I have yet to understand how anyone with kids keeps the dishes clean, clothes washed and bills paid on an almost daily basis. Or at least how their home appears presentable for guests.

I stayed up late last night cleaning as the chaos around here is constantly driving me bonkers and we had company arriving at 7:30 a.m. Some of that company doesn't know just how "well" I keep house with two young children.

Sophia's sleep habits are still absolutely horrible, and I am still lacking in the sleep department. I'm trying to hold off one more week before I take her back for the doctor to check her ears to make sure they are clear as I want to make sure that all the fluid is gone and he doesn't want to see us yet again (ie: more money out of pocket). Of course, if I feel she needs to see him sooner, I'll go in a heartbeat. I'm watching her carefully for any signs.

But after not calling it a night until 1:30 a.m. and then being woken again at 2:00 or 2:30 a.m. and then again before I was up with her at 7:15 a.m. for the morning, I was frankly exhausted and running on empty again this morning. So I asked hubby to stop by Dunkin Donuts on the way home from the gym this morning to buy me a coffee.

THAT WAS HEAVEN! Hubby prepared it just how I like it. And, I don't drink coffee. We don't even own a coffee maker any more! If I've had coffee 10 times in my entire life, I would be very surprised.

Normally, as I'm rocking Sophia to sleep for both her morning and afternoon nap, I catch a light snooze with her. Of course, I feel guilty for doing so as there are books to be read, games to be played and clothes to be washed. But I just cannot seem to function without a little snooze. But, today, I have been running on coffee since 7:15 a.m. I'm waiting for the crash!

My house is clean (by my current 1,100 sq ft cluttered standards), and I just may make it through this day without losing much patience with my oldest, very strong willed and stubborn child! That same said child is doped up on anti-itch medicine that is probably going to be banned from this household after today. Perhaps I can find a more natural doctor to cure these eczema issues as the anti-itch medicine, steroids and Vanicream just aren't doing the trick.

So if I have coffee every single morning and find some way to put my youngest child down at bedtime and naptimes without rocking her, I may actually become half the mother and homemaker I wish I could be.

First Steps!

Sophia took her first steps on Saturday, May 7th. She walked across the living room floor over and over again as Annabelle kept carrying her back to her original starting point to make her try again. She didn't get discouraged despite Annabelle's antics. And the best part, we were ALL (Andy too) home to watch her take her first steps. Annabelle was so excited! She cheered her on more than any of us. She's such an awesome big sister! She even joined in on the fun of video taping Sophia. And after the fun had worn off for us, Annabelle was anxious to grab the video camera each and every time Sophia took more steps for the remainder of the day (and weekend for that matter).

Sophia started taking a step here and a step there shortly before her first birthday, but she finally took the initiative to move forward on Saturday. Since then I've watched her toddle around just to practice as she knows she can get anywhere she wants to get much faster by simply crawling at her lightening speed.

My baby is no longer a baby! If only she'd learn to sleep through the night! We're going to battle that one in a few weeks once the doctor provides me with certainty that the double ear infection is no longer.

Psalm 100:2

"Serve the Lord with gladness." - Psalm 100:2

I've been trying to incorporate more Bible reading into our day with Annabelle (and Sophia, of course, assuming she is awake). My parents used to read stories from the books, "Little Visits with God," and "More Little Visits with God," when my brother and I were younger. I asked my mom for those books when I was pregnant with Annabelle. And now I read those same books to her.

Each story includes a Bible verse with a real life application story involving young children. Annabelle is at a great age for these books, and she follows the story and meaning very well.

Earlier this week we read the story titled, "Service with a Smile." The story was about a little girl who was complaining about having to dry the dishes. It was the perfect story for the week as Annabelle does a lot of complaining and whining every morning when she has to make her bed and empty the dishwasher. For those of you with younger children, I would highly recommend assigning your child a daily chore at the ripe old age of three years old and not much later as they are much more willing and enthusiastic at that age versus four years old.

Annabelle is responsible every morning for unloading the silverware and plastics. And she isn't allowed to play until she has finished her chores for the morning. So, I often hear a lot of whining and complaining. So, yesterday, when she complained and whined about having to unload the dishwasher before she could play, I reminded her to "Serve the Lord with gladness," as we had just read "Service with a Smile" the day before and discussed how we should smile as we complete our daily chores in order to make God happy and serve Him.

Well, I have been very much lacking in the sleep department lately. Sophia's sleep habits have gradually gotten worse and what used to be 3 hours between wakings has turned into 1 hour between wakings unless of course she's sleeping in my arms at night. She was diagnosed with a double ear infection on Tuesday. She had an ear infection in her right ear at her 12 month check up. I literally had no idea she had an ear infection when I took her in as she hasn't fussed very much, and she doesn't pull on her ears. The doctor told me I could either begin the prescription immediately or hold off until he saw her again in 2 weeks as he wanted me to schedule a follow-up appointment. I opted to hold off on the antibiotics. Hence the double ear infection on Tuesday. And, she's teething with another top front tooth, and I suspect her molars are pushing through as well because she's stuffing her fingers into the back of her mouth.

So, this Mommy is very tired! And, I wasn't in a very good mood today. So, as I fussed at Annabelle this morning, she looked at me and so sweetly replied, "Mommy, serve the Lord with gladness!" I couldn't help but laugh! If only I could always remember her tone as it was so matter of fact. She literally brought a smile to my face with that comment. And she recited the verse to me several times during the day when I was obviously not very happy. Every time I smiled and chuckled a little.

God works through children in mysterious ways!