Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety? Already? At 5 months and 5 days of age? Seriously? Isn't she a bit young?

If I'm remembering correctly, Annabelle didn't have separation anxiety until she was closer to 8 or 9 months of age, which I believe is actually still a little early for separation anxiety.

And, if I'm recalling correctly, I believe I read (when Annabelle was a baby) that it was a good thing if a child has separation anxiety earlier rather than later because it shows the emotional attachment your child has to you because she has been taken care of and well loved. Of course, just like everything else that goes along with raising a child, it is just someone's theory, but it made sense to me.

Does this mean that Sophia has been tended to more and loved, hugged and snuggled more? I think not! I wish I could say they both have received equal attention as babies, but unfortunately, Sophia gets less time with Mommy than Annabelle got. I held Annabelle all of the time! Poor Sophia gets pushed aside sometimes for her older sister.

I found this statement on the parents.com website. "Far from something to be concerned about, stranger anxiety can be a sign of a healthy attachment to a primary caregiver, which is essential to emotional development."

Perhaps I am doing something right with this second child. I just miss those days of constant holding and snuggling with a baby. I guess life with a baby will never be the same with older children in the house. Just another reason to have a full house of kids, to make up for the lost time. Only kidding!

By the way, Sophia doesn't even like me to walk away from her when hubby or Grandmama or Granddaddy are holding her. These are all people that she sees often, so you think she'd be comfortable with them and not get upset when I leave the room for only a second. I guess she wants her food source in plain view at all times!

Miss Personality

It is as if she turned 5 months old and she now has to show her tempered personality!

If you take a toy away from Sophia (even for just a second), she will now exert herself with quite a little attitude. She immediately puts up a fuss about it. I knew that girl had a temper in her! It just disappeared for a little while until she was able to find it again.

And, if Mommy isn't the one rocking her to sleep at night, she will scream at the top of her lungs. That, of course, hasn't changed though. Once I have her in my arms though, the crying stops instantly. Annabelle didn't start that nonsense until her one year molars started pushing through around 14 months of age. Before then, hubby could rock her to sleep at night.

After we got past the initial colicky period, I would have sworn to you that Sophia is Annabelle's twin sister, just 3.5 years later. Apparently I was wrong in my assumption.

Why am I afraid that Sophia may be harder to raise than my oldest, stubborn and very independent child?

Oh, that's right! Because she seems to favor her Daddy quite a bit. Everyone says that no two children are ever alike and that one typically favors one parent while the other favors the other parent. Well, Annabelle hands down favors me! Miss Personality, on the other hand, favors her Daddy!

And, for the record, for the older folks out there (you know who you are...Grand somethings), if Annabelle tells you she wants a baby brother, do not assume I am pregnant! Hubby decided to plant that seed into her brain this evening. "Do you want a baby brother or baby sister?" he asked. "Huh?!?!" I said. Maybe he is actually opening up to the idea of another child? But, I've got news for him and everyone else...I need a few more years!

Snuggle Time

It has been awhile since I've scrapped. I just wish I had more time to make it more fancy and pretty. Annabelle loves the 8x8 photo book I made for her this summer with my past scrapbook creations, so I intend to make more pages for both girls so we can enjoy reading the books together to preserve all of those wonderful memories we have made together as a family.

Annabelle loves to snuggle with her little sis. I just wish she loved to snuggle with me! Every once in awhile she will surprise me and wrap those sweet little arms tightly around my neck. Last night we spent the night at Nonnie's house, and she cried to Nonnie that "I want Mommy! I want Mommy!" When I laid down next to her, she wrapped those little arms around me like she was never going to let go. I love it!

Of course, it didn't take her long to resort to her old roly poly self again!

Puppy Dog Panties

Annabelle: Mommy, can we call Nonnie and find out where she got my puppy dog big girl panties?

Mommy: Sure, but why?

Annabelle: Because I'm getting too big for my princess panties, don't you think?

Mommy: Yes, you probably are, but I'm not too sure Nonnie will be able to find those same big girl panties again.

Annabelle: Maybe she can find some with her on 'em. Wouldn't that be cute?

Mommy: Yes, that would be cute.

Annabelle: Nonnie and her puppy dogs on 'em!


Nonnie, are you up for having some custom big girl panties made with a picture of yourself and Buddy and Murphy on them? :)

White Water Twenty Ten

It is the life experiences that make a difference in a child's life, not the toys! Today was our annual trip to White Water compliments of Nonnie and Northside Hospital. The ticket price is fairly reasonable, $21 each for ages 3 and up. This price includes the ticket to White Water, a chicken finger or hot dog combo meal and another ticket to Six Flags to be used by a certain date (October 2nd this year).

Annabelle has been so excited all week! The other night she called us back into her room after we had tucked her in to ask us something about wearing her bathing suit and to tell us "I am going to dream about White Water." Then everyday she would say, "We are going to White Water, not today, not tomorrow, not the next day, not the next day, but the next day." And as the week progressed, she would properly leave off one of the "not the next day."

On Thursday, Annabelle asked hubby to print off a map for her. She requested a map of White Water and a map of how to get to White Water because she wanted to make sure we knew how to get there. We even had to use a flashlight to review the White Water map together during snuggle time last night. She cried when I told her that she needed to go to sleep and that Mommy was going to take the flashlight with me. She wanted to keep the flashlight to look over the map in her bedroom. I left the room with her crying. Hubby went to calm her because she was screaming and shrieking at the top of her lungs. Then I gave in because I felt I was being too harsh. She was just so excited, and I didn't see any harm in letting her look over the map for another 15 minutes. I think my heart was breaking a little bit too because I sensed her excitement.

Then, guess who woke up at 7:30 a.m. She rarely wakes up before 8:00 or 8:30 any more. She only did that last year when I was horribly sick with morning sickness with Sophia. She was so excited! We heard her running around, and then we heard her dresser in her bedroom open. Then, "Mommy, where is my bathing suit with the flowers on it?"

We left the house just about when we were supposed to be arriving at White Water. 30 minutes later than planned. I can never seem to time how much time is needed if I have to leave the house before 9:45 or 10:00 a.m. Especially with Sophia nursing and napping. And hubby hates being late! Not that I like being late, but he absolutely hates it!

Annabelle had an absolute blast at White Water. She loves playing with her cousin Molly, and they play as if they are the bestest of friends. After the sunscreen was applied, Annabelle and Molly immediately ran around the new Wiggles Water World hand in hand. Absolutely precious! I just wish I could have managed to get a picture, but I had two more bodies to sunscreen. Today was the first day that I've applied sunscreen, Aveeno Baby, to Sophia.

Annabelle probably enjoyed the Wiggles Water World the most, but she also enjoyed the Captain Kid's Cove as well. She was a little scared at first of the water slides in the Captain Kid's Cove, but she decided to take a turn after watching her cousin Molly. She insisted that I stand at the bottom to catch her though. I had to watch both girls (Annabelle and Molly) myself while Nonnie watched Sophia and the boys (Hubby, Uncle Matt and Adam) slid down some of the bigger water slides. That was a little scary, but we managed! I told the girls they had to stay together so I could watch both of them at the same time, and for the most part, they did a pretty good job except for one time when Annabelle went in a complete opposite direction and she couldn't hear me hollering for her over the spraying and dumping water. I think drowning is probably one of my biggest fears for my children.

The girls also played in the Tree House Island with cousin Adam. Uncle Matt and I were watching the girls at that point. The girls stayed together until Molly decided to slide down a water slide, and Annabelle apparently wasn't too keen on the idea. So, according to Annabelle, she had to find her way out since Molly slid down the water slide. This is when I lost sight of her. Losing sight of my daughter makes my heart drop, especially when there is water.

I stayed calm for a minute, but then I went up after her when I heard crying and screaming. I couldn't find my way through that crazy maze! I ran back down and grabbed a sleeping Sophia from hubby and sent him after her. Uncle Matt ran in with him when he realized we couldn't find her. Hubby found her and carried her down. We could tell by the sad lip on Uncle Matt's face that she had been crying. I asked hubby if she had gotten scared. He said, "She said she needs to go tee tee." I learned later this evening during snuggle time from her that, "I was scared and I got lost and I had to go tee tee." I asked her if anyone asked her what was wrong. "Yes, the lifeguard did," she replied. "What did you tell her?" I asked. "That I couldn't find my way down and I needed to go tee tee." She mentioned something about being scared of the big bucket too. I also asked if there were other parents around who asked her what was wrong. "Yes. Another man did, but I just kept crying." I told her that if perhaps she had told him what was wrong that he may have been able to help her. Now I am thinking I need to rethink that comment to her. I think it was better that she didn't go with someone else and that she stayed where she was standing. Perhaps we'll discuss that tomorrow.

My heart broke for her at closing time. I think this was the first year that she really got that it was over and we wouldn't be back again until next year. I explained to her that we always had the memories in our heads though, until next year! She just smiled!

I am so loving this age! I've heard so many parents say that age 3 is harder than age 2. Granted, she is almost 4, but I still don't think I agree (at least with Annabelle). Age 3 has definitely brought different challenges, but it has also brought so much independence.

She's potty trained. She dresses herself all on her own, from head to toe, every morning. She can communicate with me fluently, so she can tell me if she's hurt or not feeling well. She no longer screams when we leave her at church because she trusts us and she knows we'll be back to get her. She can buckle herself into her car seat all by herself without assistance from anyone. She can clean up after herself. She sleeps in her own big girl bed now and I no longer have to rock her to sleep for hours every single night. She is learning more challenging concepts.

And she just plain LOVES life!!!

As for my sweet Sophia, she is such a good baby, and she was a trooper at White Water. She woke up at 8:30 a.m., and she stayed awake until closer to 11:30 a.m. when she finally gave it up on hubby's shoulder, without a paci! Absolutely precious! We definitely got pictures of that sweet thing sleeping at White Water!

She loved watching the water, but she apparently wasn't a big fan of getting wet when Nonnie sat her down in the water at Wiggles Water World. She started crying immediately. That was cold water though!

And, she looked absolutely precious wearing her sister's dark blue fish sunhat.


Thank you Nonnie for another memorable year at White Water! We'll still be talking about it again until next year I am sure!

Boggle Jr.

My parents gave Annabelle Boggle Jr. for a "graduation" from speech therapy present on Wednesday. She LOVES it! Of course, Annabelle loves playing just about any game despite her boredom with Candyland.

The instructions that came with Boggle Jr. do not have a game with much of a competitive nature between an adult and child, so I made one up. We each get a turn rolling the alphabet dice to spell the three or four letter word on the cards. The first player to spell the word gets to keep the card, and the player with the most cards at the end of the game wins.

Shortly after we started playing the game for the first time, Annabelle jumped up to grab a piece of paper and crayon. Then she promptly wrote BEAR on a piece of paper. She wrote it clear as day! Anyone who can read could read it. She blows my mind!

She also got a lesson on chances while playing Boggle Jr. At one point in the game when we only had one letter remaining to spell the word, she realized that the particular letter was not on every die. So she decided that we only needed to roll one die. With eight dice, I pointed out to her that some of the letters were actually listed twice. Therefore, she had a greater chance of rolling that letter if she rolled both dice. It seemed as if she somewhat understood. But, it still blew my mind that she realized that we didn't need to roll all of the dice every single time.

While playing today, she wanted to cover the spelling of the word on the card to spell the word by memory alone. I explained to her that she needed to know how to spell the word in order to play in that manner. She insisted on playing the game her way. And I'll be darned if she didn't spell some of the words on complete memory alone. Then when her Daddy got home I asked her, "Annabelle, how do you spell baby?" "B-A-B-Y," she replied! I know she is learning on complete rote alone, but I'll take it. I plan to see if she can still spell baby tomorrow morning.

Oddly enough, my parenting style has never been to teach my child to read before kindergarten. I honestly don't see the point to push it. Children need to be children, and they need to most importantly focus their time on being creative at this age, not on reading. If provided with the right direction and education, children will learn to read! And, I tend to think that children who spend more of their preschool years playing will be better off and more well rounded than those who spend their time learning to read.

P.S. Annabelle knows most of her letters now. She struggled today with M, W, H, D and G, but I think she nailed all of the others down pat. I believe that some of the letters are missing from the dice though, so that list is probably not all inclusive. And honestly, I don't really know how she really learned them. I really don't put too much emphasis on it. I'll point letters out to her, but I don't have a set lesson plan every day for her to learn new letters. I think it is a lot like crawling, walking and talking. They will learn it when they are developmentally ready, and every child is completely different!

Discipline Chart

If you are reading this, your advice is much appreciated (even if you aren't a mom)!

We've had it with Annabelle's lack of respect for us. She is actually very respectful to most other people on most days, but as is typical for most three year olds, she doesn't listen or follow directions when it isn't in her best interest. Not to mention, she is sassy, sassy, sassy!

So in order to raise a respectful young lady, I have gathered ideas from John Rosemond's book, Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children. John Rosemond does not believe in second chances at all. Oddly enough, I briefly followed his advice regarding second chances a few months ago and Annabelle cried to me (as I put her in time out), "But I didn't get my second chance!" Hmmm. Dr. Rosemond is onto something!

One of my biggest irritations with Annabelle was her constant leaving the table at meal times to do this or that. "Get back in your chair Annabelle!" we would constantly demand. So, I used techniques recommended by Dr. Rosemond to other parents to keep their child from constantly leaving his bedroom for a drink of water or to go potty at bedtime to nip that one in the bud, and it worked!

I give Annabelle three silly bands (bracelets) to be worn at every meal. Every time she leaves the table once we sit down (to go potty, look at Sophia, look out the window, etc), she has to give us a bracelet. If she leaves the table at all once she has no bracelets on her wrist, she is finished eating, whether or not she is really finished eating. Sound harsh? Maybe, but she knows the rules, and she's old enough to know I mean business. Of course, we are technically giving her second chances, but we aren't constantly nagging and threatening, and a girl has to potty at the most inopportune times when she's three! And, this worked immediately! She has not yet lost a meal!

So, now we are moving on to more important and complicated issues. These are the offenses that bother both of us the most. And instead of threats and second chances, Annabelle will land herself in time out immediately if she disobeys. We are planning to have a family meeting to discuss these offenses with her.

When I first started typing this post, we were planning to give her bracelets and then for every offense, put her in time out immediately and take a bracelet. If she ran out of bracelets before she was ready for bed, we were going to take something away, but we couldn't figure out what to take away. I tossed around the idea of telling her that she couldn't go outside the next day, but if it rains or someone gets sick or we have something else planned for the day, we cannot make it outside. Then we thought about telling her she couldn't have gum the next day. Annabelle loves her some gum! She had a meltdown just the other day because she felt she was entitled to her gum after she finished her chocolate milk for breakfast. But, I felt that eventually she wouldn't care if we took her gum away.

So, we have decided to just tell her that she goes straight into time out for any of the offenses on the discipline chart. I am planning to print this chart in a size 12x12 and then laminate it. I am also going to print smaller 4x4 sizes to have on the go.

We are also planning to move her time out from her nice comfy bed to a dining room chair turned backwards. If you know Annabelle well enough, you know that there aren't many discipline measures that work with her. I still do not understand why she responded to the silly band method during meal times.

So here is a picture of our chart. I am planning to add another picture of her buckling herself into her car seat since she often takes her sweet time getting buckled in, especially when we're in a hurry. Your advice is still greatly appreciated! What works or worked for you?

Mama

Excuse the long video as I haven't spent the time to figure out how to edit these videos yet. Annalee's Mommy: I need to borrow your oldest son for a day to teach me!



I was really trying to get Sophia on video smacking her lips together as if saying "Mama" without any sound actually coming out. Even though she has been babbling "ma-ma" and "ba-ba," she is so cute when she just imitates me using her lips only without any sound. But once again, she was in complete awe with the video camera. So she didn't perform!

But, I did get a "mama" out of her!

Excuse her annoying big sister. "Sophia, can you say vid-e-o-cam-e-ra?

The Big Girl

Annabelle is growing up so fast. I can truly see huge differences in her compared to just a year ago. In less than 2 months, she will be turning 4 years of age. That would probably be the most appropriate time to point out her doings, but I think I'll go ahead and sum some of that up tonight before she turns 4.

And, I am not blogging these things to brag on my very smart child. :) I really just want to remember when she started mastering certain tasks. I am in no way trying to compare my child to anyone else's child as I know these are all tasks that most children will accomplish eventually. Every child excels differently. I think it mostly has to do with personality and interests. Annabelle excels more with her fine motor skills. It is the gross motor skills we probably need to work on a bit more. I don't anticipate an athlete out of this one!

1. Annabelle is completely potty trained! She even keeps her bed dry at night. I am sure that means she will probably wet her bed tonight, but since we arrived back from vacation in July, she has been going to bed without a diaper, and she's been waking with dry panties. She typically wakes at least once for me to help guide her to the potty.

2. Not only is she completely potty trained, but she has also started insisting that she go into the bathroom stalls in public alone with the stall door locked. "I'm going to touch the potty, is that okay?" she'll ask. Of course, she doesn't have much choice as she needs to use her hands to get herself on the potty, so my response is always, "Just as long as you wash your hands, but try to touch as little as possible." I am completely disgusted by it, but I am starting to let some things go and relax just a tad. I think Sophia has helped me to relax and live a little, germs and all!

3. She helps me empty the dishwasher. This task includes drying the dishes on the top rack. Of course, the breakable dishes are still my responsibility even though she has insisted that she wants to unload everything. I draw the line with my $32 plates that will never be replaced if I have to pay for them. Annabelle is working hubby right out of his morning job that he inherited when I was gosh awful sick with Sophia during that first trimester.

4. She apparently knows how to pick up after herself at other people's houses. Do what? Was that really my child? Because you see, she never does that at home! This evening Annabelle and I had dinner with some friends to celebrate their son's first birthday. I watched Annabelle sit quietly and politely in her chair as she ate her dinner and then cake. She apparently dropped some of her cake on the floor because she picked up a piece and placed it in the palm of her hand and carried it to the kitchen to find the trash can. All without being asked! Seriously, folks, whose child was that? It could not have possibly been mine! She couldn't find the trash can, so she headed back to her chair with the cake in hand. I then asked her if she was looking for the trash can. She nodded her head yes. The birthday boy's Daddy then helped her out by taking the dropped piece of cake for her. I asked her if she had dropped her piece of cake. She responded, "Yes, it was just a little piece though." I think she was afraid she was in trouble, but I asked her if she needed more since she had dropped it. "No," she responded.

5. She's such a little mommy! Not so much to her sister as she tries her best to annoy her, but she was watching over the birthday boy this evening. So much that she knocked him down several times when she was trying to protect him from going outside in the backyard. They have a fenced in backyard, so I guess she didn't understand that he was fine to toddle around.

6. She pretty much knows all of her numbers, one through ten. She does tend to get the numbers 6 and 9 mixed up quite a bit, but that is quite understandable. She's been counting to ten since I cannot even remember! I know she was definitely counting to ten back in March 2009, but I am sure she started doing that long before then. She can also count to twenty, but she typically gets confused when she gets to thirteen and fourteen. She's been counting to twenty for quite some time too. I am pretty sure she was counting to twenty long before her 3rd birthday.

7. She's learning her ABC's, and she has started to identify and spell some words. Okay, well only one word. This past weekend, she learned to spell stop. She told hubby that she knows a stop sign says "stop...S-T-O-P."

8. She can write her name completely on her own without asking Mommy or Daddy for assistance.

9. In the last month, she has started to identify words that rhyme.

10. Within the last few weeks, Annabelle started coloring between the lines. It was quite odd as it just clicked one day. I really haven't preached it too much to her even though I am sure I have mentioned it to her on an occasion or two, but one day she colored between the lines and came to me to show me the great job she had done.

11. She can draw simple pictures such as balloons, tulips and stick figures.

12. Annabelle picks out her own outfit for the next day at bedtime. She has been getting herself completely dressed in the mornings without any assistance from Mommy or Daddy. That doesn't mean, however, that she always matches, but it'll do!

Graduate

Annabelle has officially graduated from speech therapy!

I need to catch up on the previous speech therapy sessions before I completely forget everything, and I hope to do so soon. That means I have great intentions, but it probably will never happen!

Monday's session was pretty blah. Last week as Miss Andrea was escorting us out the door, I asked her, "Do you think she really needs this? If you think she needs this, then that is fine, but I just want to get an idea because it is pretty costly for us. We've met our deductible this year with the birth of our second child, so the cost isn't so much an issue this year, but I just want to have an idea of where we stand going forward."

In all honesty, I was beginning to think that this speech therapy was a complete waste of our money. Granted, as hubby said, I do think it has helped Annabelle get excited about pronouncing words correctly, but the last few sessions have been pretty repetitious. Everything Miss Andrea does with her, I have done with her at home in conversation. And I did that before Miss Andrea intervened.

So as we walked back to the "play" room and observation room, Miss Andrea told me that after we left last week, she gave a lot of thought to whether or not Annabelle needed to continue with therapy and she felt that today would probably be Annabelle's last day. She also mentioned that most of articulation therapy is done by the parents at home anyway, and they've been working on more advanced sounds for her age anyway.

I did mention to her that Annabelle really struggled with the "th" sound. Miss Andrea said that sound is a really hard one to get, and it is an eight year old sound. She said that Annabelle would get it when she was ready to get it, and Miss Andrea seemed to think she would have that sound down pat pretty soon. In hopes that Miss Andrea would practice it with her today, I told her that Annabelle always seems to get the sound after she works with her on it, but I can do the same thing with her, and she just won't get it. Miss Andrea did practice the "th" sound with her once. And would you believe that she is actually starting to get the "th" sound now!

Most of Monday's session was more observation by Miss Andrea. Annabelle and Miss Andrea played Granny's Candies game, Artic Chipper Chat (using the L sound), and Blue's Clues Big Easy Game.

Here is one funny comment made by Annabelle during the speech therapy session. She nodded her head yes and smiled as she made this comment.

"Stool. That's how I used to say sss-kool."

Miss Andrea actually wrapped the speech therapy session up 7-10 minutes early. I know we'll get billed for the full hour though which irks me. Since I charge for my own time when I prepare tax returns, etc., I am a stickler when it comes to charging time. Of course, the paperwork you sign with them does state they can bill you the full 15 minute increment if you go over into the next 15 minutes, but if I'm paying for an hour, then give me that full hour! When I enter my time to charge my clients, I will literally bill down to the 5 minutes instead of rounding up to 15 minutes. In my opinion, my rate (that my company billed me out) was just too high to charge my clients the full 15 minutes. And, with the many 5 minute phone calls I got daily, it was too costly for me to write off all of those 5 minute phone calls.

Miss Andrea did tell Annabelle during the speech therapy session that it would be her last day since she was doing so great with her sounds. Annabelle seemed completely fine with that. She got to choose a prize from the prize box. She chose a pink money change purse just like her Daddy's change purse! Okay, not just like it because his is orange, but she made sure that she told me that she got a change holder "to hold my pennies just like Daddy's!"

As we were leaving Miss Andrea said, "Annabelle is doing great, and I am not worried about her at all." She also mentioned that when Annabelle first started speech therapy, she didn't understand why Annabelle had been recommended at such an early age (I guess meaning an early age for those sounds). She said that the speech therapist that recommended her was probably on the fence as to whether Annabelle needed therapy or not and that they typically tend to err on the cautious side.

I am going to pretend that we didn't waste our money, but I'm not sure it was completely necessary either. If I had taken her for speech therapy back in January when Dr. Calk originally recommended it, it probably would have been necessary, but she's made so much progress on her own since January that it probably wasn't necessary by the time I finally got around to her speech evaluation.

I wondered why Miss Andrea didn't mention then that she didn't think Annabelle needed it, but I guess she didn't want to second guess another therapist. And, I also wonder if parents tend to push it that their child needs therapy. I suspect she was trying to please me, and she may have thought I was one of those pushy parents until I asked her if Annabelle really needed it.

So, we are done for now! Miss Andrea mentioned that I could e-mail her and they could reevaluate her if I felt like she was regressing in any way.

As a side note, Miss Andrea said, "I would love to give her a language test! She would blow that one out of the water." After I inquired further, I learned that a lot of children have problems following directions, and a lot of speech therapy is done for this. Interesting!

Annabelle doesn't have a problem following directions when she wants to!

I am very proud of my little graduate! She has come a long way since January!