I HATE this!

It is 12:43 a.m. I left Sophia's room at 8:45 p.m. And she is STILL awake and crying! We have checked on her numerous times though just enough times to make sure she does not have a dirty diaper.

I feel like I have completely abandoned her! I am at a loss, and I don't know what else to do! Most people I talk to say that their child cried for an hour (as if an hour is an eternity). What about 4 hours?!?! Has anyone had a child cry for 4 hours? If so, HELP! I need some advice, reassurance, something.

I've even given her a dose of Tylenol just in case those stinkin' molars are bothering her.

And our entire Bible Study group is praying for us! I need an answer to some prayers!!!

Busy

I feel like a stranger to my own blog! I almost forgot my own login and password since it has been so long since I posted.

We've been blessed with a busy life, though I often think I have overextended myself. And there is a tiny piece of me that still wants more kids. Though I'm not sure why as I often finish the day thinking I'm not made for this job. Maybe I'm hoping I can get it "right" the third or even fourth time around!

I'm blogging this evening because I finally couldn't take any more and decided it was time to let Sophia cry it out. My sweet Sophia! I love that girl! She is truly my sunshine! Annabelle is my joy! But, Sophia, she is my sunshine!

Annabelle and I are like two peas in a pod. But Sophia and I are like night and day. Neither Annabelle nor I really dig the mornings. But that Sophia is ready to hit the ground running first thing in the morning if anyone else is willing. Of my two children, Annabelle is the least affectionate (much like myself). But not my Sophia. She loves to snuggle. She will snuggle with me in bed in the morning until she hears her sister's bedroom door open. Then she immediately wants to jump down to find Annabelle. Annabelle completely ignores her. I know that feeling of not wanting to talk to anyone in the morning. Annabelle asked me just yesterday why Sophia always cries when Annabelle shuts her bedroom door behind her in the morning after Annabelle has used the restroom first thing in the morning and goes back to her bedroom to make her bed. I told her it was because she didn't even say "Good morning Sophia!" Annabelle said, "Why is she so happy in the morning?" I don't understand it myself, Annabelle. But, she's about the only cheery person I've ever been able to stand in the morning. Annabelle has never been cheery in the morning! Just this morning Annabelle changed her tune and sweetly said, "Good morning Sophia!" as she hugged her sister. They are so sweet to each other. Strike that! Annabelle is so sweet to Sophia! Sophia is a bit of an affectionate trouble maker. Hence the fact that she threw sand at her sister several times today after being instructed not to do so. Hubby and I had to turn our heads and giggle a bit. Annabelle just takes the beatings with stride!

So, I'm rambling. Letting Sophia cry was not nearly as hard as letting Annabelle cry when she was 18 months old. Though I have really been lacking in the sleep department with Sophia. She has pretty much always woken up every 3-4 hours. It is as if we have had a newborn baby for 17 months straight! She feels the need to nurse 2 or 3 times during the night as well. (Yes, I'm still nursing). I am sure the nighttime wakings are not going to stop immediately either, but we're going to take it in stride. Unlike Annabelle, Sophia cried for a good 45 minutes straight this evening, and I didn't hear her last whimper until around 9:55 p.m. Strike that! She just started crying again at 10:34 p.m. I left her room at 8:35 p.m. Though her cries so far are strictly cries and not screams, so that is definitely comforting.

Besides the lack of sleep, here is what we've been up to lately.

1. We started teaching Annabelle's Sunday School Class back in August. Though we've only taught one Sunday so far. We teach again this coming Sunday.

2. Annabelle started ballet at the Decatur School of Ballet on Wednesday, September 7. She seems to be enjoying herself after only two classes. Though I am having a hard time adjusting to a new schedule. She is currently learning to spin and skip. Who knew skipping could be so hard? Not that we haven't practiced ourselves before, but skipping is a hard gross motor skill to master. I've actually read somewhere that a child isn't ready to read until they can sway their arms in an opposite direction from the leg skipping forward. Or something like that.

3. Hubby and I started a pretty intense Bible Study on Wednesday evenings for 2.5 hours. It is a 34 week commitment. I need prayers that the girls can tough through these long days and stay healthy. Perhaps I can convince my sweet parents to watch them on Wednesday nights so they can stay free and clear of hand, foot and mouth disease! Yuck! Apparently it has been making its way through the daycare center run by our church.

4. I agreed to work one day a weekend through October 15 at the public accounting firm I have been working at since I graduated from college. The extra cash is definitely a plus, especially during these economic times, but it definitely adds a bit of stress to our household.

5. Annabelle started her second year of choir on Wednesday, September 14. Hubby and I were attending the Bible Study during this hour, so my parents picked her up from choir and took the girls home for a normal bedtime. But the next day she was already singing several of the songs to me. She really seems to enjoy choir too.

6. We officially started our first day of Homeschool Pre-K yesterday. The curriculum I chose is centered completely around God. I doubt myself constantly in this role as teacher that I feel God has chosen us to take on in the coming years (if it works for us), so I need prayers that we are truly following God's will. And I especially need prayers that God will provide me with the patience I need to educate this strong-willed, must do it her way, child. I can see that after only one day she is going to be a challenge!!!

I hope you all haven't given up on me yet since I haven't posted since July! If you haven't, please feel free to leave a comment!

10 Hours

I know, I know, you all are probably very tired of hearing this, but why is it that my child only needs 10 hours of sleep every single night no matter how hard we play during the day?

She played hard at the playground this afternoon, and I even allowed her to play in the backyard where I could see her while I cooked dinner this evening. And yet again, it is 9:40 p.m., and I am scheduled to check on her for the first time in 2 minutes. I left her room at 9:30 p.m., and Jezebel felt the need to meow. Annabelle, of course, found that as her excuse to come out of her room to tell me, "Shadow [she confused the cats] woke me up." Sure she did! You weren't even asleep yet! How did she wake you up?

Big surprise! I went in her room to check on her at 9:42 p.m. Do you think she was asleep yet? "Mommy, can I get some pants?" Seriously? For what? It is 76 degrees in this house. You don't need pants! But, whatever. Stall tactic. That is why I have NOT even attempted to cut out the diaper at bedtime. She would never go to sleep!

This is just going to get more interesting in a few short days (or weeks)! I am praying for a second child that likes to sleep much like his/her Daddy. One duplicate of me is quite enough!

Bedtime Music

I can see that being a big girl is not on the top of Annabelle's list, or at least it wasn't tonight. She did not want to be a big girl this evening, and that was after I threatened her with, "if you aren't a big girl, Mommy will make you be a big girl, and you won't get a sticker if Mommy makes you be a big girl." And, she even okayed sleeping in her crib again if that meant not being a big girl. Of course, I realized that threat had backfired, so I told her she was going to do it and Mommy would check on her as usual.

She whimpered a bit and then requested some music. Thank goodness! We tried to get her to listen to music a week ago to drown out the other noises in the house, but she wasn't interested. But, tonight, it worked, and the Baby Einstein music is softly playing as I type.

After I started playing the CD, and in hopes of persuading Annabelle to listen to this music, the following conversation was held.

Mommy: You used to listen to this when you were a baby.

Oops! I realized instantly that was a bad comment since she's a big girl now and not a baby.

Mommy: Mommy likes to listen to this music too.

Annabelle: I listened to it when I was a baby?

Mommy: Yes, you did. It makes you smart.

Annabelle: Does Daddy listen to it too? Is that why Daddy is so smart?

Mommy: Yes, Daddy likes to listen to it too.

Do you want to know my thoughts at this point? They go a little like this. "What the heck? Is that why Daddy is so smart? What about Mommy? I just told you that Mommy likes to listen to it too."

What is it with little girls and their daddy?

Bump Night

I'm about to dump the metal big girl bed and have hubby just buy one of those metal frames for the mattress. And even after hubby's hard work on painting it.

Annabelle LOVES to jump on beds, but she's been instructed to not jump on any bed without Mommy and Daddy in the room. However, she is allowed to jump on her big girl bed as long as she jumps on her knees.

Well, this evening, she bumped her head several times on the metal frame. And, they were pretty good bumps. And, for the majority of the bumps, she wasn't even jumping! She's quite the klutz in case you haven't figured that out by now.

So, the metal bed frame really makes me nervous. I'm afraid she's going to bust her head wide open one day.

This evening during her allotted time intervals when Mommy returned to check on her, she would immediately stand up and walk to the end of the bed to give me a big hug and kiss. She did this every time until she finally fell asleep. Each time though, I asked her to not walk across the bed because I was afraid she was going to hit her head on the metal frame.

Her response to me was, "It's a bump night!"

Apparently so! Because around 11:30 p.m., hubby heard a noise and said, "What was that?" Then, we heard crying. I ventured into her bedroom to see and hear her bang her head against the metal frame in her sleep. She was just tossing and turning as she usually does, and she kept banging her head. When I first walked in her bedroom and heard the sound before I saw her, I thought she had fallen off the bed. I felt so sorry for her as I know it must have hurt!

And, to add to this episode, I realized as I was comforting her that her pajamas and sheets were wet. Did I mention that I just washed those same sheets earlier today because she hadn't worn a diaper to bed last night? And now I have to wash them again tomorrow morning!

Sleeping in the crib was so much easier when it came to bed wetting!

P.S. I told hubby that I think God is testing me. He wants to make sure I'm ready to deal with these small details before he introduces Beebo.

Like Clockwork

She's like clockwork, every single day!

9:30 p.m. to sleep

7:30 a.m. to rise (despite the fact that this is 6:30 a.m. the old time from just a few weeks ago)

No relief for the Mommy! Especially considering the fact that I rarely ever go to bed until 11:30 p.m., but some nights as late as 1:30 a.m. or 2:00 a.m. I guess that is my own fault, but when else am I supposed to get anything accomplished?

I think the school bus must be waking her as she will sometimes sleep until 8:00 a.m. on the weekends, but that is rare.

I just don't understand how she goes on such little sleep without a nap or down time during the day. Maybe that explains why she is such a complete grump at 7:30 a.m. It takes her a good hour to an hour and a half to be happy. Of course, she wasn't a morning person even as a baby. That doesn't go well for her Mommy who is also not a morning person! If I am not at least in the shower before she wakes up, it is destined to be a rough day for us where we cannot even attempt to leave the house until 11:30 a.m. or later.

Why did she feel the need to change her sleep needs just as soon as I got pregnant? She started this 10 hour schedule (down from 12 hours) back when the morning sickness was haunting me in August and September.

And I'm going to have to care for a newborn in a few short weeks? I'm praying for at least one child who is a morning person. I don't think I can stand another one like me! Although, just for the record, hubby claims to be a morning person, but he's a grump in the morning when he's home on the weekends. He's pleasant during the week. Perhaps he's getting too much sleep on the weekends or perhaps it is me? LOL!

Change is Good

Since Annabelle stopped napping completely in July 2009, I have stayed in her room every single night until she's fallen asleep. I never meant for it to turn into that routine as I struggled and conquered the "cry it out" method with her at 18 months when I could take no more.

When she first stopped napping, she was so exhausted that she would fall asleep within minutes of me singing to her while rocking her. Those were sweet moments because they reminded me so much of her baby days. But, since Annabelle has never been a child that likes to sleep, she slowly has learned to survive off less and less sleep. She is now down to only needing 10.5 hours of sleep at night (again, with no naps during the day). According to "they," most kids her age require a total of 12 hours of sleep per day. Not my Annabelle!

Well, this bedtime routine has taken its toll on me. It is hard to get anything else accomplished when hubby isn't home until 6:30 or 7:00 or sometimes later (and, believe me, I am not complaining...I used to leave the office at 6:30 and that was on a very good day), dinner is served and the bedtime routine begins between 7:30 and 8:00. I have not typically left Annabelle's room until she is asleep between 9:30 and 9:45 p.m. And then there is time for what?

Keep in mind that only Mommy has been the one able to rock Annabelle to sleep or stay in the room until she falls asleep. I probably only have myself to blame, but it is hard to change a routine, especially when hubby travels periodically.

Well, over the last month (especially since she started climbing out of the crib and has greeted me every morning on her own), we have started discussing the "big girl bed" with her. I've started telling her that "big girls" who want to sleep in "big girl beds" have to fall asleep on their own without their Mommy's in the room with them.

So, Monday night was our first attempt. I told her that if she fell asleep on her own without Mommy in the room that we would go the very next day and buy her stickers to put on a sticker board. I told her that once she gets 5 stickers in a row, she and I will visit the dollar store for her to pick out a prize and that Daddy can also start working on her "big girl room" and "big girl bed."

She seemed alright with the idea until a few minutes after I had left the room. I told her I would set the timer for 5 minutes and come back to check on her. I set the timer for 5 minutes. She started crying after about 2 minutes. The timer went off, and I took the timer with me still beeping so she knew that I had kept my promise. When I arrived to her room, she whimpered to me, "I was just a 'ittle bit scared. Dat machine scared me." Apparently, something had interfered with the noise maker and made it make funny noises which scared her.

So, I told her I would sit right outside her door where she could see me. She didn't like that one bit. She wailed for the next 5 minutes. The timer went off, and I went back and checked on her. That was a mistake because she had just started to calm down, but I was determined to keep my promise. I sat right at the entrance to the door again where she could see me, and she finally calmed down within 5-10 minutes.

Easy enough for the first night, right? It didn't qualify for a sticker in my eyes though.

Tonight, I spoke with her again regarding the "big girl room" and "big girl bed," blah, blah, blah, and I told her that this time I would sit right outside her door, but with the door closed. Again, I promised to check on her after 5 minutes. She wasn't thrilled, but she requested that I turn off the noise maker which I promptly did without question. I left, sat outside her door, set the timer for 5 minutes, let the timer beep so she could hear it as I knew she was still awake, and I then went back to check on her. I told her I was so proud of her and that she was being such a big girl. Then, I told her I'd check on her again in a few minutes.

This time though, I didn't sit outside the door, and I set the timer for only 7 minutes. When I went back in to check on her, she was asleep! And, the best part, it was somewhere between 8:15 and 8:30 p.m. Hurray! Granted, I did shoot for an earlier bedtime this evening since she woke up around 7:50 a.m.

So, I think we'll be buying stickers tomorrow if she's feeling better. She seems to have come down with something (an upper respiratory infection) as this morning she was complaining of a sore throat and earache. Poor baby! I hope she didn't catch it from me.

And, as for the next child, whoa be unto him or her as he or she will NOT get away with as much as this first child. I know that is typically the opposite with most parents, but I've been very "attachment parenting" with this one, and I don't think I can take 3 years of "attachment parenting" with a second child! I've learned some lessons on this poor guinea pig child. Perhaps that is why the first child typically seems to be more selfish than the second? No offense if you are a first child, but that is just my observation.

Here is to hoping that Annabelle will go to sleep on her own before Beebo arrives! Otherwise, this Mommy is going to be completely overwhelmed and tired. Oh wait! That will probably already be the case, but at least maybe I can prevent a nervous breakdown.

And tonight with such an early bedtime for Annabelle, I accomplished my grocery shopping without child (well, without one child) AND snacked on pita chips and hummus and Dove caramel chocolates at midnight! Because I can (at least until March or April)! I really wanted some kettle corn popcorn too, but I refrained. Perhaps it isn't smart to grocery shop while you're pregnant?

And, a big thanks goes to hubby for cleaning the microwave while I was gone grocery shopping! And you thought I didn't notice?

P.S. Hubby, I am NOT sharing the Dove caramel chocolates with anyone besides Beebo! They were a steal, and they are mine, all mine! Go cut your own coupons!