What's your passion?

This past Wednesday, I went to the office to work (for pay this time) for the day. My parents kept Annabelle while I was gone for the day.

My work day started with a Continuing Professional Education (aka CPE) class from 9:00 a.m. until 12:00 p.m. As a CPA, I am required to obtain 40 credit hours per year in order to continue my license. I worked too hard to pass the CPA exam in the first place, so I am not willing to give that up, if I can help it!

This particular session was a business development session titled "Selling Professional Services." It was geared towards managers and up at our firm to encourage and support business development at an individual level.

As some of you may or may not know, I have been working with this firm anywhere between 5 and 30 hours per month since my maternity leave was up in January 2007. I was full-time with them before Annabelle was born, and I started working for this firm originally back in August 1999. Lately, I have been working more along the lines of 5 hours per month (pathetic, huh?). So, I am making an effort to go to the office at least one day a week to keep my skill set up and keep my foot in the door. Since my time spent working for the firm is very little, I would rather spend my time "chargeable" (as we call it when we work on client projects) than I would developing business.

So, I am sitting in this meeting asking myself why I decided to attend this particular CPE. They were encouraging 2 hours a week for business development, which is definitely feasible if you work 40-50-60 hours per week, but with my very part-time schedule, 2 hours for business development is not really where I want to spend my time at this point in my life.

Well, after an hour of the session, they introduced an outside speaker who raised a great question. He asked, "What is your passion?" Fortunately, he wasn't looking for any verbal answers. But, he really did make me stop and think.

Even if you know me very well, you probably don't know how much I have truly struggled with being a stay-at-home mom versus pursuing my career. Whenever I go to work and sit in meetings and watch others perform, my heart aches. But, why? Mostly because I watch people who started working with the firm after me (who I trained, I might add) thrive. I sit and think, that could have been me. I could have been the one the Partners put in charge of that project. But, it isn't. It isn't because I chose to sacrifice my career to stay home with my daughter.

During the meeting, the speaker said that many of us would still be working in 10, 20, 30 and even 40 years from now. One of the girls sitting next to me who also has a young child (only 5 months younger than Annabelle) sort of gasped as if she were thinking, "Gosh, I haven't thought about it that way. That stinks!"

I think it was then that I realized what a great gig I really do have. I am so very fortunate to be able to stay home with Annabelle. Yes, I am giving up my career, but honestly, I never have really had a true passion for accounting. I've liked (sometimes just tolerated) what I've done and do for a living, but I've never woke up in the morning excited to go to work.

I know some people think, "Well who does?" I truly do believe there are people out there who love to go to work. My husband is probably one of them. Hmmm...could that possibly be because he wants to get away from Annabelle and me? I hope not! But, seriously, he truly does love his job, and he's great at it (in my opinion). His boss may beg to differ. Ha! Ha!

But, the more I sat through this meeting, the more it clicked that on most days, I truly do love my job (except for the cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, folding clothes, etc). Is there a better way to spend your day?

I get to wake up and know that a smiling little girl will be happy to see me when I rescue her from her crib. We get to plan our own day of fun. I get to spend time with an innocent child who makes me laugh more than I've probably laughed since I was a child myself. I get to hear her giggle and say "Uh-oh" when she drops something on the floor. I get to interpret her as she learns to speak and act out (in good ways and bad ways), and most of the time, I am the only one who can interpret her specific behaviour because she learned it from watching me (scary)! The Coffee Bean story is a classic example...I'll blog about that soon. I am able to watch her grow and learn, and I don't have to miss these simple pleasures because I am with her all day.

Sure, there are dirty diapers and teddy bears that have been tee teed on and spilled drinks, but those are all the small things. These bumps along the way remind me of something my brother wrote in a wedding card to hubby and me shortly after we had gotten married. I am sure I am not quoting it exactly, but it goes something like this.

"May you have enough hard times to appreciate the good times."

It was so simple, but it truly made an impression on me. If your life is only filled with happy moments, you'll never appreciate or enjoy them! That is why babies bring dirty diapers, sleepless nights and sassy attitudes!

So, I think I've finally found my passion! I am sure that I will have plenty more days full of my own pity parties, and if I do, please redirect me to this blog entry.

As for my professional career, it is definitely on hold for awhile while I raise my babies (only one baby right now), but I do think I NOW know my passion for a paying career. Did anyone guess Personal Financial Planner? I LOVE trying to figure out how to save another penny! Maybe one day I'll go back to school and get my Masters degree in Personal Financial Planning.

Until then though, I am going to try my very best to live in the moment and enjoy every moment!

Live, love and laugh!

May God bless you all!