Do I have pregnancy brain?

Ha! Ha! For those of you who I have just given access to my blog, you are probably wondering, is she pregnant? Nope! At least I hope not...I'm not ready to give up my 12 hours between feedings right now! Maybe in another 10 years? And, I had mothers tell me I'd never get a full eight hours of sleep again! Of course, maybe I could stay up on that laundry and cleaning if I didn't get my full 8 hours. I'm hoping to start working on that soon...maybe I'll reduce my sleep time to 6 hours at night.

So, my title is related to my short memory today. I've already almost forgotten what I am trying to write about, and I don't really know why. I didn't do much today besides grocery shop. But, then again, grocery shopping is a full day with a toddler who still takes 2 naps a day, and who gets fussy when she's been up for more than 3 hours!

Today, she only had her morning nap from 11:30-1:30. But, I cannot complain as her naps rarely last 2 hours! She was a pill by dinner this evening at 6:15 p.m. though. I was trying to cook dinner, and she wanted nothing else but me to hold her. I'd pick her up to comfort her, but as soon as I'd put her down again, she'd just start screaming and talking in her gibberish to me. I finally realized that I think she was a bit hungry too (as I jipped her out of her 4:30 p.m. feeding session). I realized she was hungry because she kept pointing at the dinner I was preparing on the stove when I held her. Instead of her 4:30 p.m. nursing, I gave her about 2-3 ounces of Organic Whole Milk for the very first time! She was not interested in the milk, and instead, she wanted her juice. Looks like weaning may be a problem! I cannot blame her though, I don't like milk either.

Okay, and before I get into my pregnancy brain story, I want to mention one other thing. This blog is my daughter's journal for her too, so I have to document her firsts as I remember them. I just wish there was a way to change the dates on this blog so I can write past entries. I guess I'll just have to enter the dates into the actual entry. So, for Annabelle's first today, she had shrimp for the very first time this evening. The doctor said she was clear to eat anything now, so we gave it a shot. And, yea! She didn't have an allergic reaction. I guess that eggs is our only concern right now. We had shrimp alfredo for dinner this evening, so she got the whole wheat pasta alfredo and the shrimp. We have just recently (this year) switched to using whole wheat everything (well, almost everything).

Okay, so my comment about pregnancy brain. I typed my first and last blog on Friday, and I just tried to go into my blog to type another entry, and I completely forgot my user login AND password. So, I had google send an e-mail to me so I could change my password. Alright, so that worked, I changed my password, but after I changed my password, and after I proceeded to this screen to enter a new blog, I realized that I do not remember the user login (which just showed up on the previous page that google took me to after I changed my password). And, you are thinking, why don't I hit the "Back" button. Well, I tried, but it would not go back to the previous page. So, now I have a new password that I have probably already forgotten. I think I may have to change my password daily just so I can enter a new blog!

So, to make this blog a little more interesting, I think I'll add a little humor from my first AND only pregnancy back in 2006 that I never documented, and that I'd love to keep for the future because it was just too funny (to me at least).

It was in May 2006 (mid-may, around May 15th or so). I remember the date (sort of) because my husband and I had planned a cruise out of Philadelphia to Bermuda. Well, my best friend and her sister had loaned me all of their maternity clothes. They were so gracious as they loaned me two huge boxes full. And, when I say huge, I mean the boxes were the size boxes that lawn mowers come in.

So, I had picked up the clothes from my best friend's sister shortly before our last huge vacation with just the two of us. Our vacation was from Friday, May 19th, 2006 through Wednesday, May 31st, 2006. Well, I felt the need to try on every single piece of clothing so I could determine which clothes I liked the best and which clothes I would never wear. If I didn't think I would wear the outfits, I had planned to box the clothes back up and send them back (as we already didn't have enough room in our closets for the clothes I decided to keep).

Well, I made my sweet husband turn off the television and look at every single piece of clothing to help me make the decision whether or not I would ever wear the shirt, pants, capris, etc. He was so very patient with me. I kept the clothes in our living room, and I would change into each outfit right there in the living room. I would ask my husband's opinion as he sat there in the living room with me (ever so patiently). But, then, since I felt the need to check out every outfit on my own as well, I would trot off to the office (right next door to the living room) to look at myself in the only full-length mirror in the house. Every time I would enter the office, I would turn on the light, and every time I would leave the office, I would turn off the light! And, I am not exaggerating either! I had to see myself in every outfit, and every single time, I would turn on the light and then turn off the light.

My sweet husband started to get annoyed as he saw the light go on and then go off again. After a few times of my very obvious "pregnancy brain," he commented and said, "You know, you don't have to turn off the light every time you leave the room." He told me I was using more electricity by turning the light on and then off again. But, for some reason, I could not remember NOT to turn off the light when I left the room. I must have turned the light on and then off again for almost every single outfit I tried on!

This was the worst case of pregnancy brain that I remember from being pregnant. I do recall having a hard time remembering things at work that I used to never forget, but I fortunately had my handy Outlook calendar there to remind me of my daily appointments. I don't know what I'll do when I'm pregnant with our second child! I rarely use my handy Outlook calendar now that I'm a stay-at-home mom. I keep almost every appointment in my head now! Maybe that is why I am not the best about remembering to send cards for birthdays until the day of the person's birthday! Of course, by then, it is a little too late!

Stay-at-home Mom - Hardest Job in the World?

That was the question that inspired me to start my own blog. I found this question while browsing the internet for stay-at-home mom blogs to read.

So, why do stay-at-home moms say it is the hardest job in the world?

I know this answer will vary greatly depending on the mother and her life experiences. As a previous professional in the work force, used to working 50 to 60 to 70 hour work weeks (and sometimes even 80 hour weeks, okay, 79 hours was probably my limit) during busy season from January through April, I can explain why I think that staying at home with our 12 month old daughter is the hardest job in the world.

It definitely isn't a mentally challenging job (at least right now it isn't...that could probably change as my daughter gets older), but it is physically and emotionally draining.

It is the constant daily battle. The dishes really need to be cleaned, and the dirty clothes really need to be washed, but right now (not really right now as it is 11:30 at night) Annabelle (my 12 month old daughter) is alert and awake. She is walking in circles around the house from the kitchen through the office and hall and living room and dining room and back again to the kitchen over and over. Obviously, she is at her prime for getting into serious trouble on her own without my complete and uttermost attention. These troubles may include stumbling and knocking her head on the corner of the coffee table or closing her tiny fingers into my kitchen drawers or simply deciding to taste the paper clip or penny which accidentally fell on the floor (unbeknownst to anyone except the little hands who found it). So, I have a choice. I can take care of those dirty dishes and dirty clothes or I can follow my daughter around the house as she walks in circles. Or, I can simply put up a baby gate or close the kitchen doors and lock her in the kitchen with me as I wash the dishes. But, if I do that, am I providing my daughter with the opportunity to learn and grow?

My husband and I opted to make the sacrifice to give up that second salary for me to stay at home with my daughter to help mold her into a wonderful, honest and bright individual with integrity. So, if I am staying at home with my daughter, why should I spend that precious time while she is awake and alert doing the dishes and the laundry? This is why I am always behind on the laundry (since one mother commented that she could not understand how stay-at-home moms are behind on the laundry). This mom, who also worked full-time, stated that she was never behind on the laundry. I question just how much "quality" time she spent with her son/daughter.

So, I try my best to choose to spend that time with my daughter following her around the house as she smiles at me and squints those sweet, little, blue eyes to show her happiness and affection.

I try my best to sit down on the floor with her and push the buttons on the toys over and over again even though she continously pushes the same button and it says the same thing over and over again, "This is the song. La, la, la, la. Elmo's song!" I do this because I want her to learn how to make the other characters pop up and sing (with a different motion and push or pull of a button).

So, when do the dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming get done? Sometimes it doesn't, and that is the struggle of being a stay-at-home mom or working mom, for that matter. I still think that people tend to judge the woman (mother and wife) when a home is untidy or dirty. Especially when the woman is a stay-at-home mom because, "What does she do all day?" People don't realize that there isn't time to clean a house when you have an infant who only naps for 30-45 minutes at a stretch (twice a day). Fortunately, as Annabelle has gotten older, so have the length of her naps...we are up to between 45 minutes to 2 hours (depending on the day). Thank goodness!

What else makes being a stay-at-home mom the hardest job in the world?

It is juggling the nap times around grocery shopping (especially when you have a 12 month old who is ready for another nap after being awake for 3 hours).

Okay, so 3 hours sounds like plenty of time to do grocery shopping, right? Wrong! Not when it takes 20 minutes to nurse, 10 minutes to change from jammies into clothes, 45 minutes to an hour just to eat breakfast (Annabelle is a really slow eater like her Mommy) and another 15 minutes to grab our belongings and get buckled into a car seat. Then, what about the 20 minutes to get to the grocery store (on a good day) and the 20 minutes to get home. So, that leaves an hour for doing the grocery shopping AND for unloading the groceries while dealing with a potential fussy baby depending on how close to naptime we are.

Alright, so you're thinking, working moms still have to grocery shop. Yes, you are right, most of them do. But, maybe some of these working moms can leave the kiddos with the hubby while they run to the store or maybe hubby does the grocery shopping for the family since both spouses are working? Or, maybe hubby is there to help unload all of the groceries? And, grocery shopping may take less time for these working moms because they don't have to pay as much attention to the price per ounce because they are a two income level family.

As a stay-at-home mom, there is no formal annual employee evaluation. There is no boss or client saying, "You're doing a great job!" This is difficult because the self-esteem of being a good mother is mainly developed from within. The praise is not given from outsiders. And, if anything, it is the constant dealings with other parents (stay-at-home parents and working parents) who say, "Oh, so she's walking. Well, is she talking yet?"

As a stay-at-home mom, the adult interaction is very limited and depends completely on the number of play groups you can manage to attend around your already busy schedule.

Being a stay-at-home mom means holding your baby all day long (if needed) after the shots that made your infant feel ill. Or, holding or simply playing with the very fussy baby who isn't feeling well due to its very first upper respiratory infection. This same baby is the baby who will not nap more than 45 minutes because she doesn't feel well, and she'll only take the one 45 minute nap during the morning (instead of both the morning and afternoon nap). Not to mention, she stayed up until 2 a.m. the night before because she was having a hard time breathing through her little nose, and she was very uncomfortable and nothing would calm her. The stay-at-home mom was the one responsible for staying up until 2 a.m. with the little one (instead of shared duties with the hubby) because the stay-at-home mom doesn't have to go to the office the next day. However, as a stay-at-home mom, you still have to tend to the baby's needs for the entire day until bedtime.

Being a stay-at-home mom means no vacation or sick days! As a stay-at-home mom, if you are sick, you still have to tend to your child all day long. You cannot drop your child off at day care only to go back home and rest in your bed all day (without constant interruption). Your child is there with you all day running in circles around the house (with you close behind).

Being a stay-at-home mom means trying to do everything in your power to be the "perfect" mother 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Being a stay-at-home mom means having no one else to blame but yourself when your baby stumbles while walking outside on a concrete pavement and falls backwards and bumps her noggin on the pavement (only to cry in horror and pain).

Being a stay-at-home mom means listening to others in your previous profession discuss their accomplishments and promotions while knowing that you've put your professional career on hold to raise your little one, and knowing that if and when you enter the work force again, your job as a stay-at-home mom will very unlikely be acknowledged or praised.

Being a stay-at-home mom means questioning every single moment you spend (or don't spend) with your child.

Being a stay-at-home mom means working 24/7 for free!

These are all reasons that being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job in the world. But, I wouldn't change anything in the world. I miss my full-time career, but I LOVE my new job as a mother.

Enhanced Sense of Smell

From: Mommy-To-Be
Sent: Monday, March 27, 2006 11:26 AM
To: Daddy-To-Be
Subject: the smell here...

is about to drive me crazy (it is making me sick)! They were supposed to stop painting last weekend...it stinks again!


Copy of original e-mail is posted above in blue.

Smells are definitely enhanced during pregnancy! The building's management of my office building decided to paint the ENTIRE building while I was pregnant, or so it seemed! They painted the main lobby and entryway, and the entire building rinked of paint. I even called the doctor once to make sure it was alright for me to be working in those conditions while being pregnant. They recommended I just step outside and get some fresh air. However, they did tell me they are not as concerned any more with paint fumes since the lead is no longer in paint. I still was not happy with the situation, but what was I to do?

Posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 12:43 a.m.

First Doctors Visit

From: Mommy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:42 AM
To: Daddy-To-Be
Subject: RE: hello

we probably won't get out until 3:00.

http://www.awhg.yourmd.com/ypol/user/userMain.asp?siteid=1802309&content=userHomePage&bcx=My

See above to get directions. I already printed, but I wanted to make sure you saw ahead of time.


-----Original Message-----
From: Daddy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:40 AM
To: Mommy-To-Be
Subject: RE: hello

how late? I was given permission to go home and be lazy, remember?


From: Mommy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:34 AM
To: Daddy-To-Be
Subject: RE: hello

yeah, but I brought a pbj sandwich, cheese, etc. You may want to stop and get something...I don't want you to be starving since it will be late probably when we get out.


-----Original Message-----
From: Daddy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:11 AM
To: Mommy-To-Be
Subject: RE: hello

why would I be nervous about hearing what I already know?

Are you going to want to eat lunch before?


From: Mommy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:10 AM
To: Daddy-To-Be
Subject: RE: hello

I just am, your not?


-----Original Message-----
From: Daddy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:07 AM
To: Mommy-To-Be
Subject: RE: hello

y?


From: Mommy-To-Be
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:02 AM
To: Daddy-To-Be
Subject: hello

my stomach is in knots...I am getting very nervous.


Copy of original e-mails are posted above in blue.

These were e-mails sent back and forth between hubby and myself on the day of my first OBGYN appointment to find out if I was in fact pregnant. I had actually called and scheduled the appointment on the Monday before this appointment on Friday. I remember telling the scheduler at the doctor's office that I needed to schedule an appointment to find out if I was pregnant. She said, "Well, have you taken a home pregnancy test?" "Yes," I said. "Then you are pregnant," she said. "Those tests will sometimes provide false negatives, but they do not provide false positives."

I still was in complete disbelief at this point though. There was no way I could possibly be pregnant! I mean, seriously, it wasn't in my grand plan timing wise. And, I thought I was way too young to have a baby (despite the fact that I was 27 when I got pregnant and 28 when Annabelle was born). If I couldn't prepare a decent meal for hubby and myself, how on earth was I going to feed a baby and a child?

Posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 1:16 a.m.

Cosmic Bowling

Cosmic Bowling with coworkers and Cashew! Little did I know that I was pregnant!

Posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 12:11 a.m.

Chinese Fortune

I had lunch with my two bosses, Lisa and Mike, and a good friend from Tennessee's sister, Julie, at P.F. Chang's on this day. They were interviewing Julie for a part-time position in our department.

The Chinese fortune knew before I did that I was pregnant. If only I had kept that darn fortune! And, I laughed jokingly with Lisa and Mike about how they probably hoped that fortunate was not true.

Posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 12:04 a.m.

The Conception

This is probably way more information than anyone wants to know, including Annabelle when she is a teenager or grown for that matter, but I know for a fact that Annabelle was conceived on Sunday, January 29th, 2006.

How do I know that? Well, that is really none of your business!

I ovulated the very next day, and I told hubby then, "That was it!" Deep down, I really knew then that we had just conceived Annabelle, but I completely denied it when the pregnancy test showed up as positive. I remember thinking after looking at the pregnancy test, "There is no way I am possibly pregnant! There must be something wrong with this test."

I know some people don't know when they ovulate, but back then, I knew. I had the obvious signs, but I won't publish those here. I don't know when I ovulate so much any more, but fortunately, my periods are very regular now, much unlike then. My periods fluctuated dramatically back in 2005 and 2006, anywhere from 6 weeks +.

I actually went off birth control in October 2005. It wasn't in the hopes of getting pregnant though. Birth control pills were actually making me a little loony! In all actuality, they were causing my moods to swing dramatically. I was just a very mean person to my husband, and I knew it was caused by the hormones, which were escalated by the birth control pills. Actually, I "planned" to get pregnant the same month that Annabelle was actually born, October 2006. So, she was in actuality 9 months early! And, I say, "I" planned because hubby was ready for a little one long before me.

Dear Annabelle,

God obviously had very different plans for our lives. I know I was getting a little too caught up in my career again, and I think it was his way of telling me to slow down and take life easy. I think He wanted me to stop and smell the roses! And, that is exactly what I have done since you've been born, for the most part. I have truly enjoyed being a mother to you, and I've found so many more joys in life besides work (for pay). You bring such joy to our lives, and I cannot imagine my life without you.

Love,

Mommy

Posted on Monday, February 23rd, 2009 at 11:50 p.m.