Be careful what you say

Because little ears are listening, but most of all, they are understanding, even at the ripe young age of almost three in just a few short weeks.

And, a child's self-esteem apparently develops at an early age too.

Yesterday evening, we attended a Sunday School BBQ. Very shortly after we arrived, Annabelle spotted a little girl very close to her age and height, but probably a tad bit older and taller. The little girl was running towards the picnic tables (probably to find her parents). Well, Annabelle took off after her. As soon as she reached her, she patted her on the arm to let her know that she was there.

The little girl paid her absolutely no attention, and she took off in another direction. Annabelle once again followed her. I think at that point (a) the little girl was too quick and Annabelle lost sight of her or (b) Annabelle was distracted by something else or (c) we called her over to discuss eating dinner.

I never did see her try to play with that little girl again though. But, on the way home, I had the following conversation with hubby.

Mommy: (Repeated a version of the same story above laughing as I talked about it). She wanted to play with that little girl, but the little girl wanted nothing to do with her. She didn't want to play with Annabelle.

Annabelle: Who didn't want to pay with me Mommy?

Apparently, the expression in her voice when she asked that question was enough to break hubby's heart. He looked at me with such sadness. Then, I had to tell my sweet daughter a white lie because I realized then that I had hurt her feelings with my comment.

Mommy: I wasn't talking about you sweetheart.

Hopefully I've learned my lesson! She picks up on just about everything I or anyone else says!

When is she going to learn not to tell me "my heiny is tiny, your heiny is BIG Mommy!"

By the way, is "heiny" a real word? I cannot find the spelling anywhere!

The Office

I took Annabelle to the office with me this morning to drop off a tax return that I spent all night finishing up for the 9/15 deadline! Lovely!

As a side note, I am STILL trying to figure out why some people are still employed in this economy. And, I've wondered many times why they keep me around for the 0-5 hours I work every week when they've actually had to let other people go due to lack of work.

Well, now I know! A tax return that should have literally taken me 3 hours max from start to finish ended up requiring 14.15 hours of my time (beginning the work Sunday at 1:20 p.m.). The tax return was not finished until 2:00 a.m. this morning (deadline day)! Nothing was clean, and like I said, I am still trying to figure out why some people are still employed in this economy!

And, this big of a return should never have waited until the weekend before the deadline! Again, this was no fault of mine. I have been waiting on the financials from this employee since a month ago.

And, just for the record, it did take me only 3 hours from where the financials should have been when I first received the work from this employee. So, it isn't me! I'm not that slow! Why would anyone leave $14,000 in Miscellaneous Expense for a check written to "Cash" and not question it? Sheesh!

So, once again, I digressed. Now for the story I logged into blogspot to blog about.

While we were walking from the parking deck towards my office building, Annabelle was once again enthralled by my very tall office building. I don't blame her. If you are familiar with the Atlanta area, then you are probably familiar with the King and Queen buildings. I used to always want to work in those fancy, tall buildings. I don't know why, maybe because they seemed impressive like you worked for someone really important. Well, I got my wish, but by the time I got my wish, I didn't really care any more. You see, working is more of a hassle now because it adds to my stress level and my life seems to completely fall apart during tax deadlines. I ask myself often, "Is it really worth the additional cash?" And in all honesty, it isn't the cash, it is the security, just knowing that if something tragic were to happen, I would hopefully at least have a rather part-time job, if not full-time job to pay the bills.

So, all that being said, as we were making our way down the walkway, Annabelle had the following to say.

"When I'm a Mommy" *pause* "and have babies" *pause* "I want to work in an office too."

Really? So, she thinks working in an office is fun.


Dear Annabelle,

I hope you'll learn that you should become independent and take care of yourself. I hope you'll do your best to never depend on anyone else, financially that is. And, that is besides your husband, if you do choose to stay home. Hopefully you'll still have that freedom and choice when you have babies of your own. I'm doubtful these days though as our freedoms seem to be taken away one by one and no one even notices.

I do hope that you will have the opportunity to watch your babies grow every day. I hope that you'll take the time to enjoy your children (if you do decide to have children of your own).

I wish I knew what the future held for you. I hope you'll always follow your heart. But, I hope you will learn that some things are just not that important. I am still trying to figure that one out!

I am very thankful that I have been fortunate enough to stay home with you. There isn't a day that goes by when I'm at the office that I don't question myself, "Is this really worth it?" I feel that many precious moments with you are lost because of those tax deadlines. And, sometimes, it is simply because I don't have the patience with you that I normally would have because of the stress and lack of sleep.

I don't think it is possible to be "great" at many things. I've always tried to be "great" at everything I've done. But, as a mommy, I realize how difficult that is now. There are just too many things to strive to be "great" at when you are a Mommy.

I hope and pray that you'll be happy in life no matter what road you take.

Love you forever and always sweet girl!

Mommy

Cookie Cake 2009

Annabelle is already planning for her 3rd birthday party. She found a picture of her Great American Cookie Cake from her 2nd birthday party, and she said, "I want a cow dis year."

Her cookie cake in 2008 had a huge horse head. And, believe me, I did NOT pick it out! That is a story in itself. I tried to persuade her then to choose the one with the cute teddy bear or even the Piglet one since she was Piglet for Halloween last year.

Oh no! She wanted the huge horse head! And, I'm trying to encourage her to make choices at an early age, so it wouldn't have been right for me to take her to choose the cookie cake to only make the decision myself. Of course, I probably shouldn't have tried to persuade her otherwise either. Maybe I'll learn a thing or two before the next child comes along!

Do you think I'm thrilled about the cow? All I can say is that means more icing, and that my friends is a good thing! Ditto on the horse head! That may be the only good thing though. Well, besides the joy that horse cookie cake has brought to my sweet girl over the past year just in looking at pictures alone, not to mention the joy she had when she first saw it. I guess that makes it all worth it!

On second thought, is the Great American Cookie Company still in business? If not, I don't know what we're going to do! I am definitely not making a cow cookie cake!

Relapse

I don't think I can take any more. I remind God of that every evening, and this past weekend, I really thought He thought, "Boy, you are right! You cannot take any more! Let me make you better, quickly."

Well, apparently, I was wrong!

I feel a relapse coming on, but this time, the congestion feels worse. Not good! I have seen my most vulnerable and weakest side these past three weeks. I used to think I was a pretty strong woman. Heck, I had that sweet child of mine naturally, no meds! And, yes hubby, I will always have bragging rights on that one and I will always remind you and her, but especially you because you didn't think I could do it!

But, honestly, motherhood has been the most humbling experience. I honestly thought I could do anything I wanted until I had Annabelle. Cocky? Yes, I probably was. Too bad I didn't realize it then! But now, right now, I feel my weakest! Motherhood is not my expertise, and homemaking, well, we won't even go there on that one.

I'll just keep praying, but in the mean time, I'm sure He'll keep hitting me with his best shots. And, I mean absolutely no disrespect with that comment. We all know (or at least tell ourselves), the Lord will never give you anything you cannot handle.

And, as my grandmother, Mama Gordon, used to always say, "This too shall pass and be replaced by something much worse!"

Okay, so I don't think I ever heard her say that, but my mom says she did. She was a very optimistic person in my eyes, so I have a hard time believing she really did say that.

Anyhow, this is to hoping that my sweet child will actually sleep through the night tonight! I swear she's woken up almost every night for the past week between 2 and 3 a.m. And, she always insists that I rock her awhile. Then, "a ittle bit more" when I stop to lay her down. Maybe her waking at 8:53 p.m. this evening was her one time for the evening!

Good night everyone!

The Analyzer

Over the past week, I've really noticed a difference in Annabelle developmentally. She has become quite analytical, and she really seems to analyze things before she responds. The things she comes up with and says has really cracked me up.

Yesterday, hubby and Annabelle had the following conversation after Annabelle shut herself into her bedroom.

Hubby: Please do not shut your door.

Annabelle: Why?

Hubby: Because I need to know where you are at all times.

Annabelle: You didn't know where I was when you were at the office today.

She's a pretty smart cookie if you ask me! But, of course, I am her mother.

I don't think hubby is too fond of her always asking "why" when he tells her to do something. He thinks she should just always just do it without asking. I'm not sure he was quite pleased with her response yesterday either, although, he did laugh about it.

Granted, I do agree that after she's questioned her authority and been given a reason from her authority, "because I said so!" is quite an appropriate response (from her parents at least) to her second questioning of authority. You know, that one line phrase our parents always said that we swore we'd never use.

I do welcome her questioning though. I want her to question her teachers, employers and especially politicians one day. I don't want her to just "listen" to what everyone tells her because they are "supposed" to be knowledgeable. I want her to always respect people, but I hope she'll question everything she hears until she knows for a fact that it is the truth. And, based on the above conversation, she is progressing just fine!

Life

Life has a way of knocking you down flat sometimes. I guess that is just God's way of saying, "Slow down!!! Those things that you fret over daily are just not that important."

I feel like I'm still recovering from my illness from last week. We are all still coughing. Annabelle a little less than the two adults in the family. And, I'm still very, very weak. But somehow, I've managed to work 5 hours total this week at night on major deadline tax returns. It is amazing how much I've accomplished just working from 8:30 p.m. until 10:00 p.m. or so every night, and I haven't had to even go into the office. It occurred to me just how much I procrastinate on these things! Now if I could only find time to finish my own tax return before the October 15th deadline! Just like the cobbler's kids have no shoes, the CPA's family has no tax return!

Annabelle never seizes to crack me up though. Hubby taught her how to cough into her arm to not spread the germs. Not sure why hubby explaining it to her clicked, but it did. I've only been trying to teach her that since her very first cold! And, she'll tell me, "Daddy showed me to cough into my arm." She's so very proud of herself too!

And, sometimes when I'm at home and in my pajamas, I'll pull my shirt over my mouth and cough into my pajama shirt. Probably not real sanitary, I know, but I only do it at home in my pajamas. Just seems a little easier for some odd reason.

Well, if Annabelle is nearby, she'll say, "No, no! Cough into your arm like dis!" Then, when I obey her command, she'll say, "Tank you, tank you!"

Sicklings

We've been a family of sicklings over the past week, and frankly, life has really stunk (to put it nicely)! I am NOT a big fan of putting my daughter in front of the television for even 30 minutes, but Annabelle and I have watched a lot of cartoons over the last week. So much that she seems to get bored and asks to watch t.v. See what t.v. does to your kids people? It makes them bored, very, very bored.

Just learned that the lovely swine flu is widespread in only two states, Alaska and Georgia. Yes, you read it right, Georgia! Why? Why does it have to be widespread in the state I live in?

Have I mentioned that I absolutely despise germs and it ticks me off beyond all when you bring your children around my child while they are still sick or have been sick in the last 24 hours? It makes me quite livid, so people, please respect others and keep your sick children home or tell others if your child has been sick before getting together. You never know what other people are going through, and some people just cannot afford to get sick from their own sick child when it can be helped.

Work deadlines for both hubby and myself is hanging over our shoulders now! And, for me, these are major deadlines with money consequences for my clients if the work is not completed on time. Not to mention, I am a full-time, stay-at-home mom and work a part-time schedule (for pay), so if I miss that one day of work, it is very hard to catch up!

So, I digressed, I know, but if you don't already, please respect others!

Fortunately, I don't believe any of us had the swine flu. Although, Annabelle and I did wear masks when we visited the doctor's office last Tuesday. Again, out of respect for the other patients, nurses and doctors. Why? Because the sign (as we entered the doctor's office) specifically said if you have a fever and cough or fever and sore throat, please wear a mask. Forget that every other kid was hacking around us, and they weren't wearing masks! And, I know they had to have had a fever or why else would their parents have brought them? We looked pretty silly, but everyone stayed clear of us!

The best part of recovering from this awful illness is my sweet girl. We've all had a terrible cough that just won't go away. And, whenever I cough crazy, Annabelle walks over, hugs my leg and says, "It's alright sweet Mommy, it's alright."

She's such a sweetheart! I love that sweet voice despite those lovely germs she spreads my way.

Have I mentioned I hate germs? And, have I mentioned that I HATE when parents bring their sick children around my otherwise very healthy child? If not, I should have. Keep the peace with your friends and family people! Stay home when your child is sick!!!

P.S. Thank you, thank you, thank you Grandmama and Granddaddy for bringing me vegetable soup and corn muffins last week to soothe the pain! It was a blessing well received, and honestly, I don't think I would have made it through the week without those nutrients. You are definitely God sent parents! I love you both bunches!!!

If only the hubby would cook something besides carryout when he's actually feeling well and I'm not! Oh well! You cannot teach an old dog new tricks, and I do appreciate all of his help emptying the dishwasher and cleaning the dishes pretty much all week. Thanks hubby! I couldn't have made it without you (and my vegetable soup of course)!

And, most of all, thank you hubby for NOT suggesting anything to eat last week! Your "get-well" foods are always the "please puke" foods. For example, would you like a Beef-n-Cheddar (when you already feel like vomiting)? How about suggesting Campbell's chicken noodle soup next time? Still love you though!