Sleep Training Day 1 - Bedtime; Cuspid # 1

This is horrible! Why am I doing this? My daughter is screeching at the top of her lungs because I have finally decided that it may be in our best interest to let her "cry it out" before she learns to climb out of her crib.

I left her the first time at 8:36 p.m., and I told her exactly what I was doing. She nodded in agreement until I got up from the glider and proceeded to lay her down into her crib, and then the screaming fest began. I entered again at 8:41 p.m. She calmed down a little bit, and she tried to climb me to get out of the crib. Bless her heart! She was hot and sweaty too (probably from all of the crying).

It is 8:44 p.m., and I think I just heard a paci hit the floor. I left her with 3 pacis from the beginning because I knew she'd throw them on the floor.

Now it is 8:45 p.m., and she's stopped crying. She's probably just trying to catch her breath.

Did I mention that she went down for her afternoon nap today at 12:30 p.m., and she slept until 2:30 p.m. She normally naps between 1 hour to 2 hours, so I am not surprised at all by that. I was hoping with an earlier nap that she'd fall asleep quicker this evening.

It is 8:47 p.m., and she still hasn't cried since 8:45 p.m. Maybe there is hope that this only took 9 minutes? Seriously?!?! No way! I don't believe it. Her Fisher Price Aquarium is still playing, so she's probably just listening to that right now. Too bad I didn't get her Daddy to put batteries in it before he left to go out of town yesterday. It plays music, but the fish and octopus don't move any more, and it doesn't light up with all of the pretty colors.

It is 8:51 p.m., and she's still not crying!

I should mention in this blog that it took me the longest to get Annabelle to sleep last night, and I think that may have been the final straw for me. I started nursing her last night around 8:15 p.m., and I didn't lay her down for good until 12:30 a.m. And, when I laid her down at 12:30 a.m., she cried then too, but I think she was just too tired to continue crying. She probably couldn't even raise her little body up off of the bed.

I hate this! I really do! But, I hate even more how frustrated I have become with her over the past few months. Some nights I am fine with rocking her to sleep (if it only takes an hour), but when it takes 3-4 hours, I get so irritated, and I hate myself for it! It isn't her fault! She just wants her Mommy.

And, for the record, nothing that anyone has said to me has persuaded me to let her "cry it out." I have been contemplating doing this since December when she started this whole fuss of only letting me (and not her Daddy) rock her to sleep. And, if you know me, you know that I am VERY independent, and I will do things my way depending on what I think is best for my child. Fortunately, her Daddy has been very supportive with everything so far. He's a trooper! I guess he figures that this is my job since I am home with her all day. His job is to make the money and bring home the milk and bread!

The worst part about all of this is that I just noticed this morning that another tooth is coming in. It is her bottom right cuspid. Are those supposed to hurt like the molars did? If you are looking at Annabelle, it is the cuspid to the left of her mouth. Well, I believe it is the cuspid. It is between the molar and her front teeth.

Okay, it is now 8:57 p.m., and still, no crying! And, I believe the Fisher Price Aquarium has stopped as well. Seriously, this cannot possibly be this easy! I think it is because she was already exhausted. I just wonder how tomorrow is going to play out.

The main reason I decided to finally let her "cry it out" is because with it taking me 1-4 hours to rock her to sleep at night, I am unable to get anything done around the house. My husband has been traveling a great deal this year (although, I know it could be a lot worse), so it makes it that much harder to get things done at night when she takes so long to go to sleep. He left again on Monday (yesterday) for Charlotte, and he is supposed to be gone again next week and then maybe part of the next week, so I decided I needed to start this sooner than later. Not to mention, I am seriously considering trying to wean her as well, but I think this has to come first before I even attack that battle. It will probably be a few months before I do try to wean her though.

Annabelle, if you are reading this one day, please know that I love you bunches, and I truly hope that letting you "cry it out" has not warped you for life. I hope you will be a very happy adult, and I hope your self esteem will not suffer because of my own selfish needs.

Well, now I am going to go do my job as a wife (dishes, laundry, you name it), but first, I am treating myself to some leftover 30th birthday cake from my husband's birthday AND some Tuiti Fruiti Cake from my husband's birthday! Hubby, that one is on you!

I am just realizing that I am closing a chapter in my life. In the past (before the 1-4 hours of rocking Annabelle to sleep at night), I have LOVED holding Annabelle close and rocking her to sleep, especially to watch her as she slept in my arms when she was baby. I would often nap with her during the day by just holding her as we both slept for the naptime of two hours or less, mostly less (when she was very young). She always seemed to sleep longer when I held her (instead of laying her down into her crib after she fell asleep). If I laid her down, she'd typically nap between 30-45 minutes, but if I held her, I was sometimes lucky enough for her to nap for 2 hours. But, I am closing that chapter, and that sort of makes me very sad. I don't have my baby any more! It is really sort of bitter sweet!

Unfortunately, I know I won't be able to hold any future children as close to me when they nap because I'll have another older child to tend to.

I'll be back again later, after the birthday cake, with another update. Wish me luck!

Okay, I am back...now 5 lbs heavier. I have not heard another peep out of Annabelle since she stopped crying at 8:45 p.m. Yippee! Hopefully she won't wake during the middle of the night.

For fear that maybe she had fallen out of the crib (instead of another paci), I did go and check on her at 9:36 p.m. Of course, that was awhile after I heard the thump, but the thump wasn't loud enough for me to worry with (until I talked to my mom). She keeps me worrying about the smallest things sometimes. That explains why I have probably spent $80 more in medical bills in Annabelle's first 6 months of life than was necessary...because my mom said, "Maybe you should take her to the doctor just to get it checked out." Once again, I should have gone with my instinct.

When I checked on Annabelle at 9:36 p.m., she was sound asleep laying on her stomach in the fetal position. I was afraid the door would wake her when I opened it (we live in an old home and these doors creak and crack when opened and closed), but it didn't. She didn't budge. So, I covered her with a blanket and left the room. It is supposed to get down in the 30's tonight (around 38 - 40 degrees F), so I thought she really did need a blanket. Fortunately, I put her footed pajamas on her that I had not yet packed away. I am so glad I had not packed those away in the shed with her 18 month old clothes.

So, I am hoping for a good night's rest, and we'll tackle this again tomorrow night with more updates on my blog (hopefully). I don't plan to let her "cry it out" at naptime, but that could be a mistake. Maybe I should let her "cry it out" at naptime too so that she'll be exhausted again at night (because I can almost guarantee she won't fall asleep for a nap during the day if I let her "cry it out.").